Face mask fashion
Which one today?

New Normal

Ok so we really are getting into to the ‘New Normal’ now. The ‘Old Normal’ when people hugged and kissed each other, and held doors for each other, is long gone. We now live in a sterile anti-bacterial breathless society. Breathless because our faces are encased in masks, and breathless because you can’t actually breath for long with a face mask on.

Real Women don’t smell of Jo Malone anymore, they smell of hand sanitiser. ‘Fragrance De Sanitiser’ shows that you are an upright germ-free citizen. Likewise, avoiding as many people as you can on the street makes you a good person. This ‘New Normal’ is great for introverts and miserable Buggers, as it is now totally PC to cross the road to avoid human contact and walk with your head down.

Face Mask Fashion

‘Face Mask Fashion’ is the latest trend. I certainly never thought I would put those 3 words together this time last year. Back then it was only weird Chinese tourists who sported PPE when being photographed outside Buckingham Place. Now it is all of us. 

Face masks really are problematic as they kill any outfit stone dead. This has led me to persuade a Sewing Bee friend of mine to make dozens of bespoke face masks in colours to match my outfits. Of course, the first one I had made was a leopard print one. This was a roaring success, to the extent that my poor friend has had mass produce them for my mates, and her kitchen now resembles a zoo.

You can tell a lot about someone by their face mask. Those reluctant to comply just pull their jumper over their mouth when entering shops, and then let go of it when no one is looking. The elderly sport the pale blue disposable version and macho men wear the black stretchy ones.

Only sad, image conscious individuals, like me, are trying to make them into a fashion statement. I actually like the fact that they conceal any lipstick on my teeth and I no longer have to worry about eating garlic for lunch.

As one shop keeper pointed out, face masks are great for germs and for shoplifters. The issue is that it is very difficult to recognise someone just from their eyes. When I have to put my glasses on in a shop with face mask to study labels, I have a further problem. My glasses totally steam up and I become in desperate need of a guide dog as well. So, unless my mates can recognise me from my spectacle frames, I can lurk around incognito most days.  

Ant-Free

The are some good things about the ‘New Normal’ though. I went on a train this week and it was absolutely spotless and empty, even in rush hour. It was the first time I have enjoyed Southern Rail in years. Secondly London was eerily quiet.

At this time of year, you usually get squashed by colonies of camera-wielding Japanese tourists swarming around like ants. But the streets were deserted, clean and less polluted. I am not saying any of this is good for the economy, as I know it isn’t, but when my glasses aren’t steamed up, and the sun is shining, I kind of like it.

Jayne Webb midlife blogger

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