Category

Coronavirus

Category

Face mask fashion
Which one today?

New Normal

Ok so we really are getting into to the ‘New Normal’ now. The ‘Old Normal’ when people hugged and kissed each other, and held doors for each other, is long gone. We now live in a sterile anti-bacterial breathless society. Breathless because our faces are encased in masks, and breathless because you can’t actually breath for long with a face mask on.

Real Women don’t smell of Jo Malone anymore, they smell of hand sanitiser. ‘Fragrance De Sanitiser’ shows that you are an upright germ-free citizen. Likewise, avoiding as many people as you can on the street makes you a good person. This ‘New Normal’ is great for introverts and miserable Buggers, as it is now totally PC to cross the road to avoid human contact and walk with your head down.

Daily Hourly Planner

When the UK went into lockdown on 23rd March I decided that I really had to remain positive and make the most of this time to learn some new skills, and get on with all those household projects that I had always meant to do, but never got round to.

I also suggested to the rest of my locked down family that they, likewise, should use this time profitably by learning to touch type or learn a new language. I created an extensive list of proficiencies to acquire including meditation, knitting and bread making as well as writing my blog, of course. I even went so far as to design a daily or hourly planner of my activities: 

Doing a ‘George Clooney height’ space George Clooney Height Of course, the biggest stress when leaving the house in these COVID Days is observing the 2 Metre Rule. I had never before given much thought to exactly what 2 metres looks like in real terms, so I decided that the best way to estimate this was to picture it as a George Clooney height cutout lying down. This image has, however, got me into trouble.  This morning I was outside Boots Chemists and there was a long queue. I was so busy swerving around trying to give everyone a ‘George Clooney’ that I completely overshot the door to the chemists, and ended up trying to get into the adjacent (and closed) dry cleaners.  As I knew I had a bit of an audience watching my blunder I had to mutter ‘Oh Crikey! I can’t believe they are shut,’ as I turned and back…

Anti-social distancing Ok, I admit it, I haven’t spent every single day since Lockdown started in my pyjamas, watching TV and eating chocolate. I have actually got a little voluntary job. My Mum lives in a retirement village where 91 elderly residents are in total lockdown for 3 months. As a result, there are a lot of folks who need food shopping doing and prescriptions collecting. I am that person. This means that most days I have to extract myself from my leisurewear and brave the outside world. Rules Of Social Distancing I have been known to queue outside Sainsbury’s three times in one day. What strikes me most about this is how differently people interpret the whole ‘social distancing’ concept. Hours and hours of standing in supermarket carparks, with a trolley, has actually made me one of the world’s leading specialists on this topic. On the whole people can be divided…

No, this isn’t an old photo… I usually get excited about Easter.  It is like a mini Christmas without the presents. It is a time when all of the Family get together under one roof for a few days, we tacitly agree not to wind each other up, and we enjoy nice food and good company. The problem is everyone is still here.  Don’t get me wrong, I do dearly love my Family, but I do now realise why young men between the ages of 18-21 must go on to Further Education. Their mothers quite simply cannot tolerate them being at home for prolonged periods. It is seriously damaging to their health.   The Son During the university holidays I put up with Son rising from bed at about the time we are having lunch, doing absolutely sod all all day, apart from hogging the TV remote then shooting little men on a screen all…

Online Shopaholic One of my favourite pastimes is, and always has been, online shopping. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I ventured into a clothes shop. Why drive to a shopping centre, pay for parking, and spend hours trundling around the fashion department of John Lewis when it is all there online in the comfort of your own home? I can scan the entire fashion offering of John Lewis in 30 minutes.  Whereas it would take me a good few hours on the shop floor. I also have a phobia of changing rooms. There is just too much faff.  Changing Rooms You have 27 items over your arm, and you are told that you can only take 5 in at a time. This means that after every 5 failed frock tries you have to wrap yourself, in your undies, in the changing room curtain whilst shouting ‘Please can I…

Corona TV and Me Keeping Fit Over 50 Ok, so it’s Day 4 of Lockdown and things are going quite well. I have got into a good routine; I lie in bed checking Insta and Facebook until 9.30am, and then I get up and watch ‘Corona TV’ and do housework until 4pm, in my pyjamas. At 4pm I have a shower and put on clean pyjamas. I do realise the importance of trying to keep fit over 50. So on a ‘Fitness Day’ I put on leggings, and plod around the village for 30 minutes at some point, before the shower and clean Pjs. I could call these ‘leisurewear’ but no, mine are quite definitely ill-fitting floral jersey Pjs. The great thing about this dress code is that I am not generating any ironing at all. The Rota I have made an Excel spread sheet, which is a total work…