Jayne Webb

Bookcases and Head Cases

September 20, 2019 6 Comments 3 Mins Read

My Nepal Trip My first few days in Kathmandu have been a challenge. When I arrived at the hostel (compound) I was surprised to see that the walls were topped with razor wire and there were huge metal gates. Foolishly I thought these were to keep the volunteers safe, but soon realised they were to stop us escaping. I had paid extra for a private room as I did not want to spend every morning surrounded by nubile 20 year olds in thongs, making me feel even more depressed about the toll age and gravity have taken on my body. Stable Life My quarters are separate from the rest of the house and it appears that the last thing to live here had 4 legs. Someone must have shooed it out and threw a mattress on the floor hours before I arrived. The only other thing in the room is…

Jesus Christ And Any Other Gods…

September 17, 2019 No Comments 3 Mins Read

The Kathmandu Trip Well I made it (just). Midlife Crisis Jayne from leafy Lingfield is now in Kathmandu 4469 miles from home. I am actually very proud of myself for getting here all on my own. To be honest, I very nearly failed as early as Gatwick when I found it virtually impossible to lift my ‘super’ rucksack onto the baggage belt. Mrs Moody from Turkey Travel (aka Turkish Airlines) then pointed out that I had only paid for 30kg and had in fact 34kg of shoes and mosquito spray. That is only 8 lbs which is nothing, unless it has attached itself to my hips, then it is a bloody disaster. Anyway I managed to talk her down, but realised at that point there was no chance of talking her up to a free upgrade to Business Class. Large Passenger Alert My trip to Istanbul was uneventful but disaster…

Pythons, Pervs and Packing

September 12, 2019 No Comments 3 Mins Read

The Lone Traveller I leave for my trip, as a lone traveller, in less than 48 hours, so my preparations are really ramping up. I have drawn up the ultimate packing list. Meanwhile unhelpful Son decided to do something helpful! He Googled ‘Things that can kill you in Sri Lanka’ and found: ‘Sri Lanka is home to a spider the size of a dinner plate. With a leg span that can reach up to a rather terrifying ten inches, the Fringed Ornamental Spider is the second largest in the tarantula family’ And ‘Sri Lanka is known as having the most venomous snakes of any country in the world’ Snake Wrestling Thanks Son, if only you had applied as much enthusiasm to your university research you might have kept out of the Uni Bar for a few hours longer last term. However, I did decide that I must get better at dealing with…

Fashion Disaster! Modesty Clothing

September 7, 2019 4 Comments 3 Mins Read

Well, this is a first…. I have actually walked past the enticing windows of Hobbs and Jigsaw and I have ended up in……. Millets camping store! Yes, really! This place is so alien to me, I might as well be in a Hoover factory. The last time I ventured in here I had to get Daughter a tent for a festival. I selected a bargain £25 pop-up tent which blew away at 3am on the first night of her trip. This meant she spent the next 2 nights sharing a tent with her best friend and best friend’s boyfriend. The downside was that she learnt way too much about her mate’s sex life. The upside was that she has never had any desire to go to a festival again. Shopping Time So, I have my list: ‘sleeping bag, mosquito net, water bottle, head torch etc’, but worst of all…. SANDALS. I have…

Breaking News

August 31, 2019 2 Comments 3 Mins Read

Midlife Crisis Stages Preparations for my Trip over the past few months have been extensive. Firstly, I had to make the announcement to Husband. Normally when I say ‘Darling’ in a semi sexy voice over supper, I am about to admit to yet buying another Ralph Lauren shirt, or some Take That tickets. This time the ‘Darling’ was sexier than ever… Husband coped very well with the announcement that his wife of 23 years was buggering off to Asia for 3 months to find herself. He knew there were midlife crisis stages, but he just wasn’t sure which one I was in. Cool Mum I actually think he saw a green light for more tennis matches, meals out with the Boys and to get his motorbike licence. Which led me to believe he, in his own way, is having a mini midlife crisis too. My grown-up kids, to be honest, were shocked. Reliable Mum, always…

Midlife Crisis – ‘A period of emotional turmoil in middle age characterized especially by a strong desire for change’

August 25, 2019 12 Comments 3 Mins Read

Who Is Having It? Jayne Webb, middle aged, middle class, middle income, mid-range interior designer from the Midlands living in Surrey, UK. I had always thought that the term ‘midlife crisis’ was a bit of a joke. An explanation for why 40-something men suddenly find their 25 stone receptionists extraordinarily attractive and whisk them off on shiny new Ducatis. And why women take up tennis to sleep with the 23 year – old tennis coach and dye their hair blonde. So, when It dawned on me that I was having my own ‘midlife crisis’ I faced two huge problems: I don’t like tennis My hair is already so blonde I could be mistaken for a Marilyn Monroe look alike (sadly from behind only) So, what could I do to quench this over whelming and all-encompassing feeling that I needed a change? I needed to change? ‘ME’ Time I reached this crux…