Sunset over the city from my roof

Yoga In Nepal

I have really got into a routine now in Nepal. Every night at 6pm I go up onto the roof of the Compound and do ‘Yoga with Press-ups’ for 30 minutes, whilst listening to Spotify. This serves several purposes; firstly, the sight of Kathmandu twinkling in the sunset is breathtaking, secondly, I find it enormously therapeutic and thirdly, my next stop is Goa.

Goa means the opportunity to wear one of my new (or should I say five new) bikinis. I do not want to spend all my time there trying to reposition a sarong to hide the Wobble, so press-ups and crunches and Yoga in Nepal it is. At this point I do have to say thank you to Nicky, my ever-patient Pilates teacher in East Grinstead who, in 3 years, has turned me from looking a Plank to doing the Plank, beautifully.

On Sunday evening I was working out as usual, when a very rotund Chinese inmate appeared, to hang out her washing. ‘Aaaw Yoga’ she said. I explained it wasn’t exactly Yoga, to which she replied ‘Yooo tich me?’ I forgot all about this oriental encounter until last night.

At exactly 6pm Wang Fang waddled up onto the roof waving, and wearing a pair of leggings she had clearly borrowed from a Swedish Gap Year Girl. They were 10” too long and 10” too narrow. How she had managed to squeeze herself into them, and still walk, was a total mystery. She looked like an untied ring of black pudding.

No ‘Me Time’

I was actually really irritated that she had interrupted my ‘Me Time,’ but graciously got her a mat and started off with a few gentle stretches. Some positions she did manage to hold, whilst muttering what sounded like ‘Eeyore’ under her breath.

I was going to suggest press-ups, just for the sheer amusement factor, but fortunately the nicer side of my nature won. At one point I only asked her to get onto her hands and knees and she toppled over sideways and… bounced. Trying to get her back onto all fours was a challenge.

I soon realised I was personally doing a full body work out, rather than a gentle core programme. The glute stretch was an equal flop, as she got stuck, whilst horizontal, with her elbow wedged behind her knee. So I had to prize her apart, like a pack of frozen pork sausages.

After 15 minutes I said that the 30 minutes was up and thanked Wang Fang for coming. ‘Aaaw so good Jay!’ She exclaimed. ‘Same time to-mo-row?’ I know that the Chinese Market might be important to us after Brexit, but I am not going to help the cause. My Pilates session will be held at 5pm tonight.

Legs and Bristles

As well as getting a structure to my days I feel that I have got a lot more independent and resourceful in my time here. This morning I went into the bathroom (I use that term loosely) and noticed a bloody great spider sitting on the bristles of my electric tooth brush.

This beast was huge, and black and yellow. It looked like a bumble bee on steroids, with 8 bony legs, wearing a Wolverhampton Wanderers football strip.

Help!

I cannot repeat the first word I uttered, but it did end in ‘ck’. If such a creature had appeared at home (which I know is unlikely) I would have screamed the place down, summoned Husband, or, failing that, called the Emergency Services.

Here I was on my own. I knew it would take too long to run up 4 flights of stairs to the WiFi zone, to Google if this bugger was going to kill me, so I had to be brave! I grabbed the tooth brush handle with a hand wrapped in a towel and flicked the angry arachnoid onto the floor.  Subsequently  I dispatched it to another life with a Fitflop.

In order to dispose of the body I picked it up, with half a box of tissues, and lobbed the whole lot out of the window. I am quite sure that a poor street dog below was delighted when breakfast appeared from the heavens, complete with a white tissue parachute.

Recovery Time

I then replaced the head on my tooth brush, and lay on my bed for half an hour to recover, before heading off to school. This is probably the bravest thing I have ever done, so a round of applause, or at least a Facebook ‘Like’ would be appreciated…

Actually, make it a Gold Medal…
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6 Comments

  1. Gold medal and huge applause for above and beyond act of bravery! Great blog again, LOL, if you listen carefully, you may be able to hear me! Big hugs x

  2. Thanks Katie. Happy to collect my medal in December. Glad I momentarily brightened up your work day! Big hug xx

  3. Hi Jane,
    Sounds like you are doing your bit for international relations, so definitely a gold star is awarded,
    and for dispatching the super spider xxx

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